Needles
by Nilaf
Summary: 02. "Things will eventually get better; this is just the difficult part." DrugAddict!Sasuke x Apparition-esque!Hinata. AU.
1. Chapter 1: 00 Prologue

**Needles**

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_So he picked up the needle_

_And stuck it in his veins_

_Because he thought that the only thing_

_He could feel was numbness._

_Instead, he discovered that he was truly alive…_

**.00.**

"_You know you shouldn't be doing that…"_

And he looks up and sees her, _again_. It's as if every time he decides to stick himself with his needles, she decides to appear.

"And you care because…?" he asks.

"…_Because you know you are worth so much more than what you give yourself credit for."_

He scoffs at her response; it's obvious that she has no fucking clue as to what kind of person he truly was...

He looks at her, and for once, he is finally able to catch a good glimpse of her. Long, unruly obsidian hair complimenting alabaster skin that hung from a thin petit frame. All dressed in white. Untainted and white, just like his addiction.

"What exactly are you?"

"_I am nothing,"_ she says.

He stares at her once more and asks:

"What do you mean by '_nothing_'?"

"_I'm just a shell; I don't exist."_

He takes a glance at the syringe that he held in his hand.

_How badly he wants to take another hit to his veins, and to feel that sudden rush of euphoria…_

He tries to resist the urge…

…But he succumbs to the temptation.

He prepares his needle, and prods himself. He feels warm and sated, as the drug courses through him.

And the next thing he sees is black.

* * *

_A knocking from his apartment door resonated throughout the entire room. He stands and briefly feels his balance give way. Walking slowly, he finally reaches the door and places his hand on the door knob, giving it a quick jerk. His face deadpanned once he saw the face on the other side. _

"_What the fuck do you want?"_

"_Now, Sasuke, is that any way to talk to your older brother?"_

_He scoffed._

'_Cheeky bastard.'_

"_Aren't you going to let me in?"_

"_No!" _

_As he was about to slam the door in his brother's face, Itachi pushed his shoulder against the door, creating a game of tug of war. _

_ "Sasuke, just give me five minutes, and I swear that I'll be out of your hair."_

_ "Why should I?"_

_ "Because I'm your brother, and whatever it is that is keeping you locked up in there has me worried."_

_ "Trust me, you don't want to know."_

_He knew that he couldn't bear the look of disappointment on his brother's face if he were to see the sorry mess that he had become._

* * *

When he wakes up, he finds himself lying on his living room floor as morning rays entered through his apartment window. He sits himself up and allows his eyes to wander, only to lower his head and observes the site of injection from the previous night. The red patch of skin on his was itching, practically begging for more of his sweet addiction.

"_What does it feel like?"_

He looks up and sees the apparition again.

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"_What does it feel like when you have that drug in you?"_

He hesitates, not sure how to describe what he feels.

"…Good, I guess..." He pauses and gives her a quizzical look. Why is a fucking spirit so curious about the physiological effects that his addiction has over him?

"_Have you ever thought about quitting?"_

"All the damn time."

"_Then, what's stopping you?"_

…No matter how hard he thought, he couldn't come up with a good enough explanation.

* * *

**Author's Note: Thank- you all for reading my first SasuHina fic on this site! Just to clear up any confusion on behalf of the summary, Hinata's role in the story is as if she's a ghost/apparition, but she isn't dead per se (I'm trying not to give too much away); right now, at the moment, it's as if she's acting as Sasuke's conscience… As far as the future development of this story, I'm planning for it to be a relatively quick read (maybe ten chapters total?). Also, don't fret: future chapters will be longer. **

**Reviews and constructive criticism is encouraged! **

**Happy Reading!**

**~Nilaf**


	2. Chapter 2: 01 The White Witch

**Needles**

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_You were a ghost form late October_

_I will become one in summer…_

_Stare at me and I might transform…_

_I've never seen a witch this mean_

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**.01.**

It wasn't that he didn't know that he needed help; it was the matter of how to ask for it. In the past, he's made attempts to quit on his own, but only to result in failure. Reflecting on the person that he used to be, he can't help but view himself as a complete failure. Instead of trying to rid of himself of the shadow that looms over him, Sasuke can't help but create another concoction that will feed his addiction, and give himself wings.

Constantly preparing his daily dose, with the aid of razor blades and a trail of discarded needles, spoons, lighters, and the remnants of a white residue, he prepares himself for his high once again. With an injection into his veins, he patiently awaits for the appearance of the spirit, whom he calls "The White Witch." The only thing that allows him to believe that he has not lost his sanity is knowing that her presence is near him. Growing increasingly curious about her, Sasuke couldn't help but ask about her origins.

"_What's your name?"_ he asks.

"_I don't have one…I'm not a human."_

"_Even so, everything, living, dead, or…"questionable" has to start somewhere…"_

A pregnant pause enveloped the two, both unknowing of what else to say. Feeling the itching sensation for another hit, Sasuke once again prepares his syringes to stick into his veins. He feels the needle break through the skin, the substance slowly entering his beings. His eyes close for a brief moment, to relish the high feeling, only to open them up to a familiar face.

"_Do you remember when you asked what I was?" _she asked. Sasuke nodded his head, and returned his attention to injecting the rest of the substance into him.

"_Would you believe me if I were to tell you I might be your guardian angel?"_

He finally finishes his injection, only to give a scoff at her absurd idea.

_"That would be a hard thing to do; believing you, that is. Fucked up people like me don't deserve such things such as guardian angels."_

_ "But everyone deserves one."_

_ "Obviously, you didn't get the memo. Nothing good will ever happen to me; I won't get the happily ever after that other people eventually have…"_

The White Witch continued to intently stare as his body continued to consume the injection. Once finished, Sasuke returned her gaze with a quizzical look of his own, wondering why this apparition continues to bother herself with him.

To him, the innocent look that the witch possesses is nothing more than a false pretense. To him, everything in _his_ world is tarnished…

"_Why are you always here whenever I need to dope myself up?"_

"…_I think I was sent here to help you…"_

"_Well, tell whoever decided to send you here to me, that I don't need your help; you're just wasting your time on a person on me._

She continues to stand before him, dressed in her clad white garb, her white eyes burning holes into his being.

"_What is it?" _he asks, his voice growing increasingly frustrated.

"_Why do you push away anyone that wants to help you?"_

"_Because I don't need any help! Do us both a favor and just disappear!"_

The witch says no more, and slowly fades away from his presence.

'_Finally,'_ he thinks. No longer does he find himself having to defend his actions. He resumes his insatiable desire for more of his drug.

* * *

Days passed, and there was no sign of the white witch. Every time that he would inject more into his veins, Sasuke would hope that she would pop up in front of him once again, attempting to convince him to at least _try_ to get help. Even though he would never outwardly admit it, he actually missed talking to the witch; she was the only being that actually made him feel as if he had some sanity left.

'_Maybe if I increased the dosage a little more…'_ he thought. At this point, he was willing to anything by all means just to see her again…

He prepares his forearm, and slowly begins to inject himself…

His eyes roll into the back of his head, and sees a white light as warmth envelopes his body.

* * *

_His eyes flutter open, only to see nothing but bright white surrounding him from every angle. He props his torso up with his elbows, his eyes skimming the unfamiliar place; nothing but white everywhere he looks. He forces himself up on his two feet, only to find himself feeling weightless as he stands._

"_What you did was very foolish…" Sasuke turns his head over his shoulder, only to see a familiar face. _

"_You're starting to sound like my older brother."He turns around so he can properly face her._

"_What made you want to over -dose?" she asked. _

_He wasn't sure how to exactly answer her question, but…_

"_I just had to see you again; I don't know why, but I just needed to."_

_She takes his hand, and holds it between her own, her touch soothing his skin. Her opalescent irises glimmer as he stares back at her, taken aback by her actions. _

"_You need to go back; you have someone waiting for you." She releases her grasp and fades away as he begins to feel himself falling backwards; he just keeps falling and falling…_

* * *

His eyes fluttered open once again, only this time, to find himself connected to wires and breathing tubes. The sound of flowing oxygen and beeping monitors forming a cacophony in his ears. His body feels heavy, and finds himself unable to move. His eyes roam around the room, only to find the _last_ person that he wanted to see, sitting in the chair next to his bedside.

"Sasuke…" Itachi whispers as he watches his brother lay in the hospital bed; he places his hand upon his brother's, in hopes that Sasuke would know that someone was there for him. To show his brother that he was conscious, Sasuke weakly lifts his fingers off the bed, barely able to wiggle them against the palm of his older brother's hand. Itachi takes notice of this and calls for a nurse for some assistance.

"What the hell were you thinking Sasuke? What possessed you to even _think_ of even doing something like this?"

Itachi couldn't wrap his head around the idea of his younger brother on the brink of death, let alone of his secret addiction. Was he angry? No. Instead, he felt as if he had failed in his role as the older brother. Unresponsive to Itachi's questions, Sasuke remained silent, his gaze fixated on the ceiling.

"Aren't you going to speak to me?" Itachi questioned. Silence fell between the two brothers. As Sasuke continued to stare upward, a thought had occurred to him:

"How were you able to get into my apartment?"

"Fortunately for you, your door was unlocked."

Silence once again envelopes the two brothers, unknowing what to say to one another. Not wanting Itachi to see him in such a pathetic state, Sasuke begs for him to leave. Complying with his brother's wishes, he leaves the hospital bed side, and exits the room, only to leave Sasuke with the numerous thoughts running through his mind. Sasuke drapes his forearm over his eyes, hoping to ease the strain he had inflicted upon them.

"I'm so fucked up," he whispers to himself. His eyes begin to well, light tears streaming from the outer corners. He feels a warm sensation on his arm, and slowly removes it from his face. There, standing next to his bedside, was _her._ A solemn look graced itself upon her face as she continues to stare at him. Her hand touches him again, bringing an unfamiliar yet soothing comfort to him. He looks at her, and admits three words that he never thought that he would hear himself say:

_"I need help."_

* * *

**A/N: I've had **_**mostly**_** everything for this chapter plotted out for a while; it just never made it onto the computer. That, and the fact that I've been in the transition of moving, as well as working in all of my spare time didn't help either. **

** I don't know what it is, but I feel like this chapter is a little odd? (Maybe because I kept reconfiguring some diction and syntax, I'm not sure (insert awkward laugh here)).**

**Any who, the lyrics mentioned at the beginning of this chapter are from the song "I've Never Seen a Witch"****by the band Lydia (hooray for indie rock music!), which means, I don't own the song. Also, any characters from **_**Naruto **_**mentioned in this story solely belong to Masashi Kishimoto. **

**Constructive criticism and reviews are welcomed!**

**Happy Reading!**

**~Nilaf**


	3. Chapter 3: 02 Some Progress

**Needles**

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_You empty out your stomach_

_So everyone can see…_

_But my God, what a mess I made…_

_My body is sick and it never stops breathing_

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**.02.**

If anyone were to have told him how difficult it was to quit his habit, he probably wouldn't have believed it; knowing himself, his own ego would cause his inevitable downfall. But now, here he was, enduring the most excruciating pain that he has ever experienced, even worse than what would be delivered if he were to spend the rest of his days in Hell. His body aches, and his empty stomach manages to purge up whatever remnants that can be found.

Oh, how tired he was of this shit.

Once again, Sasuke's face meets the sink, the vulgar sound of his vomiting echoing throughout his hospital room. To him and any of the other residents, it was a cacophony to their ears; to his inner demons, it was as if a symphony was playing a song that was meant for dancing. After spending many agonizing minutes with his face in the porcelain bowl, and riding his mouth of the bitter after taste the bile had left behind, he carefully examines himself in mirror, taking note of his current appearance.

He looked like a fucking train wreck. His paler than normal complexion, along with the complementing dark circles under his eyes, made it look as if he belonged with the living dead. He looked so hollow and empty, as if he was nothing but a mere shell of the person that he once used to be.

_'How appropriate…'_ he thinks. What better physical appearance would be best suited for a person that turned out to be a nothing? He examines his arms and notices the dark markings running up them….

Fuck.

"_How are you feeling?"_

"_Other than a little fucked-up, I'm just oh-so fucking peachy"_ he says. Despite his sardonic response, the White Witch proceeds to give him a small happy, yet stupid-looking, smile.

"_What the hell is that for?"_

"_I'm just happy to see that you're attempting to make progress," _she says.

"_If by progress, you mean constantly ache and tasting my own vomit, I would have to say that we're not on the same page. Hell, I probably would've been better off still dabbling with the stuff…"_

"_Things will eventually get better; this is just the difficult part."_

He scoffs at her; how can any person … or _thing_ be so positive on his behalf?

The nausea begins to over-whelm his body once again, threatening his body to purge once again. His head is reeling, and dizziness begins to set in. Clumsily, he makes his way back to the hospital bed, stumbling as he attempts to crawl in it. The sheets bundled at the foot of his hospital bed were soon pulled up to his chest, hoping that even more sleep would help rid his body of whatever was inside of him.

All the meanwhile, The White Witch leaned her back against the opposite wall, almost merging with it, as she watched Sasuke struggle to enter a deep slumber. His face was contorted, exhibiting the pain that he was feeling. Silently, she approached his bed, and rested her hand on top of his. Closing her eyes, she made an unvoiced prayer, wanting any pain that Sasuke was feeling right then and there to alleviate. The strained look on his face slowly vanished, completely replaced with a calm appearance. The White Witch finds herself entranced by the look of Sasuske's sleeping face, finding it appealing. Her hand reaches out to touch the contours of his face, in hopes of tracing every line. However, even though she had the ability to touch, her sense to _feel _was absent from her. Oh, how terribly she wanted to feel the sensation of his skin on her fingertips.

She then noticed how her skin on her hands was transitioning from opaque to translucent, eventually transparent, as if she were fading away. Her eyes wander back to Sasuke's resting form on the hospital bed, silently giving him a final good-bye.

_'Maybe my work here is done; maybe I'm finally crossing over to the other side…'_

Closing her eyes, she disappears into the night, with no trace of her existence whatsoever.

When she opens her eyes, The White Witch sees at first finds nothing but darkness surrounding her. However, in the corner of her eye, she catches a faint glimmer, and slowly begins to approach the source. Closer and closer she gets to the glimmer, and eventually finds herself enveloped by a bright, warm light…

* * *

Sssuke jolts his torso of the mattress, fully awake. The pain, was still present, although, it was somewhat bearable in comparison to the day before. However, he noticed something was off…

For the majority of the day, there was no sign that The White Witch was even around, let alone even existed.

_'Maybe now that everything has left my system, maybe I've actually stopped conjuring images her… But still…'_

So lost in his thoughts, he didn't even notice his brother leaning against the door frame.

With the clearing of his throat, Itachi attempts to catch his younger brother's attention. Sasuke's gaze shifts across the way, the look of anguish growing in his eyes.

"What is it this time?"

"Do I need a reason to come and visit you?"

No response.

Releasing an exasperating sigh, Itachi continues to talk.

"Fine. You don't have to talk, just listen." His hand reaches into his back pocket, pulling out a folded pamphlet.

"There's a facility associated with this hospital that has a program that will help with your…_condition_." Itachi makes his way over to Sasuke, giving him a better view of its contents.

"You want me to enter some sort of loony bin?" Sasuke asks, the irritable tone in his voice becoming evident.

"Rehab, actually. You don't have to make a decision right away; just give it a thought." Itachi hands his brother the pamphlet, who was hesitant to remove it from his grasp.

Sasuke studies the pamphlet, carefully taking in the information that it provided. He sighs, and looks back toward his brother.

"I'll think about it."

Itachi cracks a small smile, content that his brother is giving is suggestion a thought. He leaves his brother's bedside, leaving his younger brother alone with his thoughts.

Silence shroud s Sasuke, causing him to become increasingly anxious. How badly he could go for doping himself up again….

To rid his anxiety, Sasuke turns on his side, and attempts to sleep. However, sleep manages to evade him. He lies in his hospital bed, and stares at the ceiling, in hopes that he'll eventually enter a slumber.

"At least now you can say that I'm making progress," he says. No response.

_Odd._

"Aren't you going to say anything? I thought you would've been happy…."

Still nothing.

He glances over to his side, only to find no sign of The White Witch.

_Maybe, I've made her up; maybe my mind is starting to become unclouded…._

Sauske stays still in his bed, waiting for slumber to overcome his being. His eyelids slowly begin to become increasingly heavy, allowing darkness to conquer his vision.

* * *

**A/N: I've wanted to get this chapter cranked out for a while now, but whenever I wrote it out, I ended up being dissatisfied with it; the way how things have panned out, I'm still not happy with the way how this chapter flows (I'll probably eventually come back and re-work this chapter at another time). That, and on top of school literally kicking my ass for the past year did not help at all… But things are better now, and hopefully I can crank out some more chapters (as for when they will be posted, that is unknown).**

**For those of you that have been waiting for an update, thank-you so much for being patient with me! **

**Anyone new to viewing this story, or just came back for a re-reading, feel free to favorite/review/ give constructive criticism, etc.!**

**Happy Reading!**

**~Nilaf**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Any characters mentioned belong to Masashi Kishimoto, and the lyrics mentioned at the beginning are from the song "Empty Out Your Stomach" by the band Lydia. **


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